Asexuality is like many things where it’s more of a spectrum and there’s different labels and variations of it. Some people enjoy reading, viewing, and imagining sex but don’t want to personally engage in it with another person. Others might find it absolutely vile and want nothing to do with it, but even in those cases might still enjoy pleasuring themselves.
Here’s a wiki that explores the spectrum: https://lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Asexual_Spectrum
After transitioning and my libido absolutely disappearing, I started to describe myself as ace, but more on the gray ace side as very occasionally I’ll have fleeting feelings of desire and yearning; they are incredibly rare and very very temporary. I’m also autistic, and I suppose in some ways similar to you in that I will create a mask when my partner (long-distance) opens up about wanting to spend time with me that way. I have to have the right amount of capacity to play that role though, but she’s incredibly patient and understanding.
My last partner (also on the spectrum) was touch-adverse. She really felt uncomfortable being touched unless she was in the mood for intimacy. She also has ADHD and would often dissociate during sex, which kind of required me to be more engaging. Talking to her, keeping her attention on us. Being able to play a character helps with that as I’m generally more shy and not necessarily talkative.
In my own experience (limited), I’ve found that people on the spectrum and people with ADHD do tend to fall somewhere on the asexual spectrum… Or the opposite and are hypersexual. But I’ve only really had a few partners and a fairly small circle of friends.
Definitely! I feel like this was fairly common knowledge even a decade ago and why people would quickly rebound back to previous size and strength when returning to fitness- muscle memory due to myonuclei persisting even when the actual tissue atrophies. I guess this is an additional state of memory for the body. Super neat!