MJ calls what happened to her in Zion national park “small ‘T’ trauma”. She knows women have experienced worse from their partners. But she still feels the anger of being left behind on a hike by her now ex. “It brings up stuff in my body that maybe I have not cleared out yet,” she said.
Five years ago, MJ and a new partner – he was not exactly her boyfriend, and the pair were not exclusive – traveled from Los Angeles to Utah for an adventure getaway. MJ, who is 38 and works in PR, was looking forward to exploring Zion’s striking scenery; its vast sandstone canyon and pristine wading trails were on the list. But on the morning of their big hike, MJ was not feeling well. She could not shake the feeling that something was “off”; indeed, MJ would learn on this trip that her partner was seeing other women.
As they made their way up Angel’s Landing, MJ’s partner started walking faster than her. “I could tell it was getting on his nerves that I was slow,” she said. “I was like, ‘Fuck it, just go ahead of me.’” He did without hesitation.
When she caught up at the top of the mountain, they took a picture together. Then her partner hiked down the mountain with a woman he had met on the way up, leaving MJ to finish by herself. They broke up shortly after that trip. (MJ asked to be referred to by her initials for the sake of speaking openly about a past relationship.)
Last month, MJ opened TikTok and heard the phrase “alpine divorce”, a label she now attaches to her experience in Zion.
That all makes sense about what vertigo is, and where the priorities lie. I guess the part that wasn’t clear to me in the article was whether they had made a plan for the guy to come back after retrieving the camera or if he had just left her there and gone back on his own. Also what was happening with her leading up to knocking the camera over, and if there weren’t any warning signs either of them could have listened to to prevent the situation from deteriorating so far.
Just because if I am putting myself in the shoes of either person, the decisions of both of them don’t really make sense to me. If I’m the one having vertigo, I’m going to do what I need to to make it better, wait in a safe place for him to get the camera and come back, and communicate this plan, unless I truly need rapid evac in which case I ask for it.
If I’m the guy, I make sure the person with vertigo is safe, relaxed as much as possible, with other people if possible, with any supplies I can spare, and OK with me leaving. Then I leave my pack, go down the steep terrain to get the camera, come back, and help her evac. Or if we’ve met any good Samaritans, make some kind of plan to meet them further down if climbing back up isn’t realistic.
Maybe I just can’t fathom a douchebag being like, “sucks to suck, I’m getting the camera you knocked over in your sudden unexpected vertigo, and leaving you alone, high and dry.” Who does that?? Guys in the article I guess.