MJ calls what happened to her in Zion national park “small ‘T’ trauma”. She knows women have experienced worse from their partners. But she still feels the anger of being left behind on a hike by her now ex. “It brings up stuff in my body that maybe I have not cleared out yet,” she said.
Five years ago, MJ and a new partner – he was not exactly her boyfriend, and the pair were not exclusive – traveled from Los Angeles to Utah for an adventure getaway. MJ, who is 38 and works in PR, was looking forward to exploring Zion’s striking scenery; its vast sandstone canyon and pristine wading trails were on the list. But on the morning of their big hike, MJ was not feeling well. She could not shake the feeling that something was “off”; indeed, MJ would learn on this trip that her partner was seeing other women.
As they made their way up Angel’s Landing, MJ’s partner started walking faster than her. “I could tell it was getting on his nerves that I was slow,” she said. “I was like, ‘Fuck it, just go ahead of me.’” He did without hesitation.
When she caught up at the top of the mountain, they took a picture together. Then her partner hiked down the mountain with a woman he had met on the way up, leaving MJ to finish by herself. They broke up shortly after that trip. (MJ asked to be referred to by her initials for the sake of speaking openly about a past relationship.)
Last month, MJ opened TikTok and heard the phrase “alpine divorce”, a label she now attaches to her experience in Zion.
Thanks for the explanation. It sounds like depending on the underlying cause of the vertigo, it could either be safe for them to wait, sitting down in shade, with other people, for the other person to retrieve the camera, or unsafe if it is from a serious medical condition. I guess the part that’s still a mystery to me is how severe vertigo would happen to somebody out of the blue, without other details making it clear if you needed evac or not. If it was really bad and really sudden, and not improving, that would be cause for rapid evac precisely because it is a mystery!
I feel like if I was in that situation, I would want more context to know whether they were improving with rest, shade, food, and water, and it might be safe to leave them and get my camera; or whether it was an emergency and we prioritize them and their evac over the camera.
In either case, if they’re scared and don’t want me to leave, I don’t see how I’m gonna get my camera back, unfortunately.
To be clear, it’s wrong to abandon somebody in need. I just wish I knew more details to understand the situation better. It just seems like there must have been signs before this that something wasn’t right before both of them are together, dangerously close to a cliff and able to knock a camera down. But maybe not, we weren’t there.
I hope this never happens to me.