A lone figure takes to the stage, a giant maple leaf flag rippling on a screen behind him as he gingerly approaches the microphone.
“I’m not a lumberjack, or a fur trader,” he tells the crowd. “I have a prime minister, not a president. I speak English and French, not American. And I pronounce it ‘about’ – not ‘a boot’.”
The crowd, indifferent at first, grows increasingly enthusiastic as the man works his way through a catalogue of Canadian stereotypes, passing from diffidence to defiance before the climactic cry: “Canada is the second largest landmass! The first nation of hockey! And the best part of North America! My name is Joe! And I am Canadian!”
In response, Canadians have taken to acts of patriotism, small and large: one pilot flew his small plane in the shape of a maple leaf; sports fans have booed US teams; hats insisting “Canada is not for sale” have gone viral; consumers have pledged to buy only Canadian-made products – a pledge skewered in a viral sketch in which one shopper berates another for buying American ketchup.
The annexation fantasy is a distraction for people like you who can’t grasp nuance. You want a tidy answer to a messy reality. Canada’s sovereignty isn’t threatened by tanks rolling over the border; it’s eroded by trade deals, cultural imperialism, and the slow bleed of colonial inertia.
Your question reeks of intellectual laziness. Annexation isn’t about maps changing—it’s about systems of control already in place. If you think this is just about flags and borders, you’re missing the point entirely.
Go ahead, keep mocking. It’s easier than confronting how deeply assimilation has already sunk its teeth into the bones of this country.