MJ calls what happened to her in Zion national park “small ‘T’ trauma”. She knows women have experienced worse from their partners. But she still feels the anger of being left behind on a hike by her now ex. “It brings up stuff in my body that maybe I have not cleared out yet,” she said.
Five years ago, MJ and a new partner – he was not exactly her boyfriend, and the pair were not exclusive – traveled from Los Angeles to Utah for an adventure getaway. MJ, who is 38 and works in PR, was looking forward to exploring Zion’s striking scenery; its vast sandstone canyon and pristine wading trails were on the list. But on the morning of their big hike, MJ was not feeling well. She could not shake the feeling that something was “off”; indeed, MJ would learn on this trip that her partner was seeing other women.
As they made their way up Angel’s Landing, MJ’s partner started walking faster than her. “I could tell it was getting on his nerves that I was slow,” she said. “I was like, ‘Fuck it, just go ahead of me.’” He did without hesitation.
When she caught up at the top of the mountain, they took a picture together. Then her partner hiked down the mountain with a woman he had met on the way up, leaving MJ to finish by herself. They broke up shortly after that trip. (MJ asked to be referred to by her initials for the sake of speaking openly about a past relationship.)
Last month, MJ opened TikTok and heard the phrase “alpine divorce”, a label she now attaches to her experience in Zion.
The fact that he was reported to “hike down with some other woman.” And that she was able to complete the hike herself tells me it was a very easy trail and heavily populated. Just a dumb story of two assholes one of which decided to make her shitty date into an avenue of internet content for the hopeful attempt at gaining some influence. The dude was probably just annoyed and childishly trying to cause an issue with her and was like “I’m gonna walk the half mile down the 0 grade dirt path to the car with Stacy, babe.”
You don’t abandon someone period unless you are a sociopath. I get that you would abandon someone and let them die, get raped, assaulted, etc.
Choose your friends/partners very carefully.
We are just built differently I guess.
it’s not like the article or the phenomenon of “alpine divorces” rests on this single story, either, there were many stories shared in the article:
or
This last one really confuses me. Like if somebody knocked my camera down some rocks, I would go down and get it unless I thought they were experiencing a medical emergency of some kind.
Is Vertago a serious condition? I thought it meant getting dizzy when you’re afraid of heights. I suppose if I were in that position I would want to sit down with my hiking partner and make sure we had a plan like hey I know you’re feeling uncomfortable, but it doesn’t look like you’re in any danger. I need to get that camera back because it is expensive. I’ll meet you back here and we can hike down together.
Also, and I’m asking this out of pure ignorance, If someone has vertigo, at what point is it their responsibility to turn back rather than put themselves in an uncomfortable position? Maybe they shouldn’t have gone up where the camera got knocked down in the first place. But on the other hand maybe it happens by surprise and there’s no predicting it.
vertigo is very dangerous on a trail with heights and steep drops like that, because you can’t balance yourself - it’s very scary and dangerous in a situation like that.
Hell, even in my house I’ve had vertigo I was worried would result in my hitting my head or falling, just trying to navigate getting to a bed. Severe vertigo can additionally cause lots of distress, I can understand someone not wanting to be left alone in the middle of an episode.
That said, I understand wanting to go get your camera - I just think it is clear he prioritized the camera over her. The point isn’t that the camera is worthless, or it’s always wrong to look for the camera - but that you probably shouldn’t prioritize the camera over the well-being of another person who probably shouldn’t be left alone in that moment, and who has no independent way to get back to the trailhead without you.
A lot of this has to do with the dependence they have on the person, and the person’s responsibility to care in that moment.
That all makes sense about what vertigo is, and where the priorities lie. I guess the part that wasn’t clear to me in the article was whether they had made a plan for the guy to come back after retrieving the camera or if he had just left her there and gone back on his own. Also what was happening with her leading up to knocking the camera over, and if there weren’t any warning signs either of them could have listened to to prevent the situation from deteriorating so far.
Just because if I am putting myself in the shoes of either person, the decisions of both of them don’t really make sense to me. If I’m the one having vertigo, I’m going to do what I need to to make it better, wait in a safe place for him to get the camera and come back, and communicate this plan, unless I truly need rapid evac in which case I ask for it.
If I’m the guy, I make sure the person with vertigo is safe, relaxed as much as possible, with other people if possible, with any supplies I can spare, and OK with me leaving. Then I leave my pack, go down the steep terrain to get the camera, come back, and help her evac. Or if we’ve met any good Samaritans, make some kind of plan to meet them further down if climbing back up isn’t realistic.
Maybe I just can’t fathom a douchebag being like, “sucks to suck, I’m getting the camera you knocked over in your sudden unexpected vertigo, and leaving you alone, high and dry.” Who does that?? Guys in the article I guess.
Vertigo can just be dizziness/disorientation full stop. It can be from heights, it can happen from a brain injury, from being sick, and it can be completely unpredictable.
Thanks for the explanation. It sounds like depending on the underlying cause of the vertigo, it could either be safe for them to wait, sitting down in shade, with other people, for the other person to retrieve the camera, or unsafe if it is from a serious medical condition. I guess the part that’s still a mystery to me is how severe vertigo would happen to somebody out of the blue, without other details making it clear if you needed evac or not. If it was really bad and really sudden, and not improving, that would be cause for rapid evac precisely because it is a mystery!
I feel like if I was in that situation, I would want more context to know whether they were improving with rest, shade, food, and water, and it might be safe to leave them and get my camera; or whether it was an emergency and we prioritize them and their evac over the camera.
In either case, if they’re scared and don’t want me to leave, I don’t see how I’m gonna get my camera back, unfortunately.
To be clear, it’s wrong to abandon somebody in need. I just wish I knew more details to understand the situation better. It just seems like there must have been signs before this that something wasn’t right before both of them are together, dangerously close to a cliff and able to knock a camera down. But maybe not, we weren’t there.
I hope this never happens to me.
Oh no! If you leave a woman behind in any location she gets raped and murdered immediately!
I’m not saying abandon someone on a fucking backpacking trip in the deep country; just saying this story reeks of a rich old-millennial/young-Gen X content creator causing a noise to make some content for their socials and not a genuine “trend” of men abandoning women on fucking glaciers.
I don’t leave anyone behind.
You are full of shit.
Naw, I have gone out and made sure people get back safely more times than you can imagine. We are just different.
Lord of Backback Lord over here. Guessing you were born in the wilderness. moulded by it. No one can hold one candle to your greatness. I apologize.
I can only ever leave everyone behind as I can only see in front of myself. The power you hold is truly special and I grovel before your magnificence and ability to find all lost souls and bring them from the .02 mile marker back to the parking lot.
If you think having a moral compass and protecting and caring for all those around you is mythical then I suppose we can understand your mindset.